Monday, October 13, 2008


(Music in the background of his room)

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now"

(He got up. Blood stains on his t-shirt reminded him of yesterday. It was 4 in the afternoon. Mixed emotion of anger, frustration and depression was clouding his mind. He wanted to throw his guitar, photos, CDs and everything related to him, to them. He was about to do that when he came across his diary and….)

Yesterday was the worst day of my life, the day when I was not able to update my diary. Every song that I have made till now involved my feelings, my intuition, and my creativity and to some extends my insanity! I wrote every song as a story and stories do have end, same in case of my songs and so same should apply for my diary too. This page will be the last page of my creation and today will be the last day of my creativity.

"And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight"

(He looks at the bag under his chair. Starts taking out the photos from his bag.)

I believed that magical shows are different because they have Magik. I was wrong. I know my vision is not perfect but I am sure this is not the reason I am not able to see anything today.

(Comes across his photo)

I started my life in Mumbai living with him, and I am repenting that today. There was no takeover damn it. It was never that way. But you won't understand.

"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When every thing is made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"

(Comes across her photo)

I know that letter was not enough. But I have nothing left to give you. I don't expect you to understand me, because I don't want you to. I don't want you to suffer. I won't come back.

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive "

(Stops the song on the radio. For him, it was more frustrating. The song was literally narrating his situation. He was feeling mocked at)

Bloody song.. Bloody music.. and Bloody band.. The three mistakes of my life : Guitar,Music & Lyrics

(Puts all those memories in front of him. Grabs the match box lying nearby. And... )

I don't want to live in this world. Dad was always right. I will have to compromise. Aakhir kaun compromise nahi karta?

(Lights up the match stick)

I can't.

Damn these photos and Damn this band!

(How can anyone burn his dreams? Though they were shattered and the pain was intolerable. He started stuffing all those things in a box. Box of secrets. Box of memories. Box of his life)

Today my destiny has commanded me to give up. I will have to follow my mind, my dad. I will have to follow the system. I will have to enter this river called life, rather monotonous life. I will have to quit my dream world. I know,the more "will have" I am adding, the more I am cheating myself. I have never seen punishment more severe than the crime. I don't know, may be the crime is too serious. But it's too intense to forget.

(Starts for Delhi)

Guess who?

(That day he pressed the Stop button of his musical life, not knowing that it was only an extended Pause. A Pause of Ten years)

Note:- There are many technical flaws in this article. Like he left for Delhi the moment he left the studio that day. Who the hell will write a diary at such time? I was just wondering what he must be thinking that day. It was very difficult to put in words. Actually, such situation can't be expressed.

The Smile that was never seen by anybody for 10 years!



  1. "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music"

    Simply an expression of contained resentments in one's heart as he travel life but the whole experience was made perfect by a piece of song.


  2. good line yaar.. can u pls mail me that song?

  3. nice story.................
    i know its very difficult to enter into someone else's mind and write his thoghts.....but u hv done it...and u hv done it with great care........badhiya hai....

  4. The three mistakes of my life : Guitar,Music & Lyrics.. really liked this line. Tu kab itna deeply sochne laga?!

  5. it's time for you to use your imagination in a better way..
    the Product(pause) is rather good..but you should use a better medium to Promote your talent..or rather at a different Place..because everyone will not pay the Price that i am paying for reading your blog :P
    i can actually pay keep writing!

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  7. Awesome !!

    well written dude, Rock On :)